Right now I should be doing any number of things (because I’m going on vacation in less than 100 hours) and none of them are writing this blog post. However, since I have to wait for my iPhone to charge 15% more and I promised people I would start this, here it is. If you don’t know who I am, well…tough. Or we can be friends. Either is cool. If you do know who I am, then you’ll probably enjoy this more than anybody else. By day I work retail, along with anything else I can get my hands on. By night, I am Batman.
Or, you know, I just write blog posts where I amuse myself. Only myself.
So here are ten things that you may or may not know about me that will either make you click on through or read awhile longer. Ready? Okay.
- Glitterbots are the robots from the Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealer movie. They do not like glitter, nor do they like color, even though I believe they were yellow. I, on the other hand, am not a robot. I like glitter on my nails, but that’s about it. I know, my username is inherently awesome. You wish you would have yanked it from a 1980’s cartoon before I stole it.
- Speaking of nails, I am obsessed with nail polish. No, really. I could house a nail salon from my play room. I suck at doing anything but painting them, though. I can’t draw to save my life. Sometimes, I can’t even color inside the lines. You will see proof of this soon.
- It’s really hard for me to be typing with capital letters right now. I usually make a stylistic choice to exclude them unless I’m doing something professional. Is this professional? Something like that.
- I can quote Mean Girls like nobody’s business. I also like to bring it up in any conversation imaginable. Lindsay Lohan was so good before she got so bad. She needs to get off the goofballs and go back to Tina Fey comedies.
- I love almost every reality television competition show, but my favorite show of all time is Degrassi. It doesn’t matter if it’s Junior High, or High, or the Next Generation, or plain old Degrassi, I love them all. However, I haven’t seen past season ten yet. We will talk about this. Spoil me and die.
- I have a beautiful niece/god daughter, and I love her to pieces. This will be the only numbered statement not filled with some kind of acerbic wit or sarcasm.
- My favorite singer is Meat Loaf. I make no apologies for this. I saw him live for the first time this year and got to meet him and it was just magical. Sadly, I did not ask him to marry me. He’s old enough to be my dad. I’m okay with that.
- Speaking of marriage, I am currently looking for a Mr. Glitterbots. Where are you? I can bake cookies
from a pre-packaged log! I have a really nice television with theater quality sound! I have a 360 I don’t even play! You could be blasting people on Call of Duty ALL THE TIME. No? Bueller? Life.
- If I’m not in the first three rows of any concert, I will pout. I’ve sadly gotten used to the VIP treatment. If I don’t get sweated on by some band member, my attendance will have been in vain. That’s just how I roll.
- I’m convinced that everything you need to learn in life you can learn from The Simpsons. My theory has yet to be proven wrong. But don’t get smart and try to do it now because I only watch the damned episodes on DVD and I have currently lost my remote. My heart bleeds.
That’s it. Someone remind me to link up all my friends and the junk I read daily sometime soon. It’s mostly all beauty blogs and shit like Hacking Netflix. Did I mention I curse like a sailor? There’s #11. I’ll try to be good. Mostly.
PS: My iPhone is charged to 94% now. Good enough, my friends, good enough.