Disney Movie Marathon #2 – Toy Story (Where 2013 Feels Light Years Away)

Last week I tackled the Disney/Pixar “classic” Toy Story as part of my Disney movie marathon.  Please excuse the alien photo.  Well, actually, don’t.  Because even though all the Toy Story photos I could find (even from tumblr!) were from the second or third movies, clearly the aliens are the coolest characters ever, so we’ll leave them be.  Thank you Yahoo! image search for not filtering out the sequels like I told it to, but okay.

Anyway, after the precious gem that was Tangled, I was ready to go full force into some Pixar.  See, I told you I didn’t hate computer animation.  So I found this sucker in my basement on blu-ray and popped it in.  I can’t even remember the last time I watched the original movie.  I mean, I saw it in the theaters with my god parents, I believe on a Thanksgiving weekend, but that’s it.  I know I’ve had to have seen this some other times, right?

Apparently not.  I couldn’t remember a goddamned thing about the original movie.  I kept thinking something awesome was coming up and then I was like, “Oh wait.  That’s Toy Story 2.”  So, I guess it’s not only image searches that forget the first movie in the trilogy.  It’s people, too.  Whoop.

My horrible memory aside, here’s what happens in Toy Story: a bunch of toys come to life after children leave the room, and these particular toys belong to Andy, who is having a birthday party before his family moves.  Now, a birthday party obviously means NEW TOYS! so the old toys are reasonably upset, worrying about whether or not the kid will forget about them.  However, Andy has some really lame friends, and they only buy him one new toy worth mentioning: a Buzz Lightyear action figure who doesn’t know he’s a toy and thinks he’s a real space ranger.  Of course, this makes Woody, the leader of the toy brigade, freak the fuck out because he’s being replaced as Andy’s favorite toy.  Woody basically acts like an asshole the entire movie, gets Buzz thrown out a window, and gets them both caught at the neighbor’s house who likes to blow up and mangle shit, but, eventually, everyone comes back to Andy, Buzz and Woody become bffs, and hooray, happy ending.

First off, I do not remember Woody being such a dick.  I mean, HE TRIES TO PUSH BUZZ OUT A WINDOW.  Okay, technically, he tries to shove him behind the bed or something, but he ends up on the goddamned front yard.  Seriously?  For some reason I had it in my head that Buzz was an asshole, but no, he’s just an idiot because he can’t figure out that he’s a toy.  Jerky characters aside, if you look at the quality of animation and compare it to Toy Story 3, or really, anything that’s come out in the past few years, and it’s really…dated.  I know that having a completely computer animated film in 1995 was pretty unreal and that it was Pixar’s first full-length movie, but man, it was like watching test footage by today’s animation standards.  It was like you can see the polygons that made up Woody’s head, whereas computer animation now is much more smooth.  In 1995, it was the shit.  Then I realize that 1995 was almost 20 years ago, and, fuck, I feel old.

It was good to revisit this, though.  It made me realize that the sequels surpass the original by far…at least from what I can recall…which may not be much since I shoved pieces of the second movie into the first one in my brain.  Plus, almost 20 years later, the franchise is STILL popular.  Toy Story Mania is one of the rides with the longest lines at the Disney’s Hollywood Studios (RIP MGM) theme park.  Everybody’s still nuts about a pull-string cowboy and his astronaut friend.  And those cute little aliens, too.  You should hear me do the alien voice.  I could have been in this movie.  For real.


The next movie in the marathon is one I had never seen the whole way through that has cel animation.  Hard to believe, but it’s true.  Want to guess?  Feel free in the comments for this post.  Now go listen to some Randy Newman and enjoy yourself having his songs stuck in your heads all day.  You’re welcome.


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