For all intensive purposes, I really, really didn’t intend to skip a post last week. I got off work on Monday and was laid up with the stomach flu. Ugh. It was so not cute, guys. I’m better now, though, and now you get twice the anime AND a little surprise at the bottom of the post. Hey Monday!
All images are from MAL, and there are spoilers below!
I actually marathoned this series in a week, even with the utterly slow menu lag times on the Funimation Roku Channel. Ugh. Seriously. The lag is almost unbearable. However, since I watched it all in one go and the series is still fresh in my mind, I’m going to write a proper review on it. For now, think of [C] like this: it’s Pokemon with money instead of hit points and instead of catching them all, you only get one or two. Oh yeah, and it finishes it off (not so) nicely in a quick 11 episodes. I ranked this anime 7/10 on MAL.
Oh boy. Here we go. Let me start off with the reason I started this series in the first place: I liked the title. Yeah. I’m really that cheesy. But I knew nothing about Master of Martial Hearts, saw the show on Netflix Instant and was like, “Oh, what a cute name! I bet it’s some cute little Funimation romance title like Peach Girl and I’ll love it!” Yeah….no. It’s definitely not a cute little romance ANYTHING. I watched the first episode and was utterly appalled. Thankfully, the audio track on the Netflix stream for episode 2 was screwed up beyond comprehension (like screechy noises and high pitched sounds everywhere for no reason) so I never felt compelled to finish it. Months, possibly a year, later, I saw the thing on the Funimation Roku Channel (how does this bring me both so much joy and so much pain all at once??) and was like, “Fuck it, it has to get better, right? I’ll see if the audio track is messed up here, too.” Luckily (or unluckily, I suppose), the audio worked and I watched the next two episodes. Guys, let me tell you, this is fanservice, ecchi garbage. The plot is so convoluted, there’s not even any sense in trying to explain it except to tell you that it’s a tournament fighter where every time one girl lands a blow on another, her clothes fall off. If that’s your thing, have fun, but I couldn’t take it anymore. But then…then…I was trolling around on youtube for some anime reviews to watch and I came across this gem. Okay, after a lead-up like that for the final episode, you know I had to see what the fuss was all about, especially since I felt entirely compelled to watch part two of her review immediately. So, I braved the lag time again and turned this shit on while I was cleaning. Episode 4 was more of the same bullshit, but 5…oh, episode 5. Oh my god. I love me a good twist ending. The more out of left field it comes, the more I like it, as long as it has something to back it up. But this…this…what in the fuck did I just watch?? I literally put down my Swiffer and stared at the television, mouth agape, for a good fifteen minutes while the entire “plot” of the anime was spun in a whole new context that didn’t make a shred of sense. Okay…it may be passable at least for the writers to think that it could have made sense, but there wasn’t enough back story in the anime to make it work for me. And then the last two minutes or so…just, fuck you, Master of Martial Hearts, with your convoluted, leaves no closure even though you spent the last twenty minutes attempting to give the viewers closure, ending. Newsflash: it’s fucking ridiculous. However, at least they tried to salvage what little shred of credibility this show could ever possibly have by giving it one of the most ludicrous twist endings I have ever seen. I gave it a whole extra point and rated it 4/10 on MAL because of it. Honestly, though, don’t watch this crap. Watch the second part of JesuOtaku’s review instead. It’ll save you about 90 minutes of your sanity.
The goddamned song is back. Other than an extended fight sequence in this episode where a character who I actually gave a shit about is either critically injured and/or killed, it’s more of the same crap. I’ve officially given Blood-C a pass on my Saturday morning cartoons list. Next.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love to watch the Mizusawa kids play in tournaments. I’ve never seen any movie, anime, tv show, etc. where the characters all love the game they’re playing so much. It’s the passion behind these characters that make me so passionate about this show. Porky loses his match in the final, which means that the team is down one at the start. But Taichi pulls one out for the team. Score! Literally. However, then the other side pulls some dirty karuta dealings and splits the cards so that it’s almost impossible for Mizusawa to win…and they don’t. Chihaya loses her last card to their ace in a tie because they touched it at the same time, and the gang loses 3-2. However, since the top two Tokyo teams would advance, they are still moving forward. Even though she lost her match, at the end, Chihaya can’t stop talking about how much fun she had playing karuta, I cry, the end. Except it’s not. Then Arata texts her, asks her if she had fun, and SHE cries because she completely did and Arata knows her so well and Taichi gets all red and wants to punch him in the face because Arata made her cry happy tears while he didn’t….lord. My rambling skills get a workout with this show. I just love it so, so much.
In my bouts of stomach flu insomnia, I needed something to pass the time. This lovely series streamed nicely on my Kindle Fire and was only three minutes an episode. Perfect. It’s pretty much a bunch of cultural reference jokes, which really aren’t my thing, coupled with crappy animation, though. Not so perfect. It’s fine if you need something to pass the time, but it’s really not a show I’d go out looking to watch.
Once again, I marathoned this show during bouts of illness insanity. How’s that for alliteration? I liked it enough to keep watching, which is something that’s hard for me to say about a show that’s ripe with fanservice and poorly executed literary allusions, and I ranked it 7/10 on MAL. A full sized review is forthcoming.
You did it! Congrats! You made it through the entire post, even with a Master of Martial Hearts review! Because you’re so awesome, here’s a free crunchyroll guest pass to the first reader who can snatch it up:
I’m still trying to figure out the whole youtube review thing. The possibility is there, but so is my hatred of editing. I don’t know which will win out. Don’t worry, there won’t be a Martial Hearts tournament to the death to decide or anything. I may be a mean girl, but I’m not THAT cruel.