life

No, I didn’t die, I promise.

Hi, friends.

It’s been awhile.

So, I took a little blogging break because I’ve been working really hard on my anime-related youtube channel, which has been quite the project.  It’s a lot of work.  It’s one thing to spend 90 minutes writing up a blog post every week talking about the anime I’ve watched, but it’s quite another to get camera ready, set up my little home studio, shoot a video, optimize the footage, edit the shit out of it, render it out, upload it to youtube, and then do final quality checks before I post it.  To the people who have youtube as their full-time jobs, I salute you.  And not only for the work you put in, but for the criticism you take.  It’s so easy for people to just troll all over something you’ve spent tons of time on over there, like it’s nothing.  It’s not cute.

I’m up to Anime Mondays #78, and it’s surreal to think that I’ll have done 100 soon.  This week I will put up a post with backlog, just to make sure it’s cataloged in print.  This was always something that I did to record my thoughts, and hopefully, some other people would get something out of it.  I’m actually going to take a little youtube break in three weeks for vacation (more Disney time, yay!), and while I’m there I’m definitely going to do some hardcore thinking about it.  I like making videos.  And the good feedback, as well as the recs I’ve received, are awesome.  It’s like a whole different universe.   I’m gonna leave it at that.

How is fall anime season treating you?  I’m underwhelmed, but have picked up five shows anyway.  Like I needed to pick up any new shows at all, right?  I do love Akatsuki no Yona, though.  I hope it stays on my good side.

So, yes, I’m not dead.  Very much alive, and blonde again!  I forgot to post for National Mean Girls Day, too.  Got it on facebook, though.  I’m still trying to make “fetch” happen.

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2014 Birthday Giveaway!! (AKA My 100th Post)

Wow, it’s been awhile, huh?  I thought I would have time to get a few posts up during my hiatus, but it turned out to not be the case.  I’ve been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the past three weeks, and it doesn’t look like June is going to grant me a respite either, but any weekend I’m home and not running off to the opposite side of the country, I will get my posts up.  Posts!  Posts everywhere!!!  Or at least on Mondays.

Anyway, my birthday was last week, and you know what that means…giveaway time!  Like last year, I will be giving away a two month subscription to Crunchyroll Premium (this is for the anime membership, not the one with all the manga and K-Dramas).  Unlike last year, I’m using rafflecopter to make this work instead of blog comments.  In theory, this should be really easy.  All you have to do is leave me your Crunchyroll username in the little widget off to the side, and you are entered!  Just look to the right and click on the link below the Birthday Giveaway! sidebar that says “a Rafflecopter giveaway.”  If you’d like to get some bonus entries, you can recommend me your favorite anime to watch or leave a comment to this blog post.  You can enter through midnight EST on 6/29/14 (pretty much because that’s the next weekend I know I have free so I can get you your prize right away).

My Disney cruise/vacation was awesome, in case you’re playing the home game, and Wednesday starts summer concert season, so the majority of my time/money is going to see as many bands as possible.  Never fear, your Anime Mondays post will be up on Monday.  It’s gonna be a long one.  And yes, it comes with a prize inside.

On a side note, this is my 100th blog post.  Thanks to my subscribers for sticking through all my ramblings.  Or, if you just found this blog through a google search about Mandy Moore’s haircut and the movie Tangled (which is how I get the majority of my hits, oddly), thanks for stopping by.  You’re all beautiful.  And now…the contest.

Since WordPress won’t allow me to post the widget in this post, just look right.  And possibly up.  Then click the link.  You can do it!!

Disney World Trip Report Day 3 Part 1 – Where Nobody Told Me This Was a Water Ride

The water rides…they are an ongoing theme.  I hate water rides.

Last I left you, we had just done one marathon of a day over at Magic Kingdom, and on our second full day in the parks, we were off to MGM…I mean, Hollywood Studios.  This would be an entirely new experience for me, and (spoiler) it quickly became my favorite park.  I had only two goals in mind: riding Toy Story Mania as many times as possible and meeting Wreck-It Ralph.  I figure if I had a Mr. Glitterbots, he would be exactly like a gigantic video game villain, so there you go.

We were up early enough to just miss rope drop, but that was okay because as soon as we went through the elusive bag check, we hopped in standby for Toy Story, and this was the longest wait we’d have all day.  However, I’d never been in the building before, and the queue line was AWESOME.  So I took a zillion pics of it.

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I cropped myself out of this picture of a dinosaur.  Yes, that’s a dinosaur.

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I took like 30 photos in here.  No joke.

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That’s the ceiling.  THE CEILING.

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I used to have one of these when I was a kid.  The talking one.  Baller status.

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One of the best games ever.  And NO PEOPLE.

tripreport-040There are some people.  But look at that.  Seriously.  Best line ever.  It sure kept me entertained.

Would I skip a fastpass just to walk the line again?  Hell no.  But there was lots to look at.  There was even a talking/singing Mr. Potato Head.  And the ride itself?  THE BEST.  I love video games, and it did take a little while to get used to the controls and the Tilt-a-Whirl-esque movement of the car, but it was fun.  I lost, but we had a fastpass plus to cash in later, so it was all good.  We would get round two.

We didn’t really have a plan, so we strolled over to do the Pirates of the Caribbean show, where I got to pull out my bad ass pirate joke that I stole from David Cook again.  And this time, people actually laughed!  That thing is so bad, I have no idea why, but I’m all about beating a dead horse.  I can’t remember if I put this in the last installment, so here you go: have you heard about that new pirate movie?  It’s rated ARRRRRRRRRR!  Yeah.  I’m awesome.

This was not the boat ride from the kingdom, but, rather, a projection show in a really awesome room that had a pirate ship and SKULLS EVERYWHERE.  I was pretty much home, even though I have never seen any of the movies.  A lot of good my Disney movie marathon did, huh?  It’s not something I’d wait in a long line for, but…skulls.  One even TALKED.

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Meh…not the greatest photo, but that is a projection, not a person.  Even Jack Sparrow agrees.

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My new digs.

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My new husband.  I call him Bony.

Next, we took a voyage under the sea and watched The Little Mermaid play.  I liked what there was of it…it was just way too short and cut out the entire middle of the movie, much like the ride.  AND IT RAINED.  This marks one of the many times I looked over at my friend and stage whispered, “You didn’t tell me this was a water ride!”  I hate getting wet and I hate it even more when my camera gets wet.  Also, Gaston and Prince Eric were BFFs.  I was so amused.

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This is the WORST picture, but go back to my older reports and compare and contrast…

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And check out that fake kiss!  My heart, it hurts.

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Ursula was a puppet.  I was not impressed.

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At least Ariel was stunning.

tripreport-049And this is the room you wait in before you get in the theater.  Yes, I realize my pictures are backwards.  Oh well.

After that unexpected water ride, we decided it was time to head over to the Animation Pavilion to meet my future husband, Mr. Ralph.  The line looked messy by the time we got there, but the CM assured it was only 20 minutes, so we hopped in it.  Gotta tell you, I was way too amused by all the little subway scrolling messages that had little classic video game inside jokes.  I wanted to look around at all the parents with small children and be like, “LOOK IT’S THE KONAMI CODE!” but that would have been weird, so I just took a lot of pictures.

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There, now I got them in the right order, I just had to go through Picasa backwards.

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ALL THE WAYS IN PAPER BOY WERE THE HARD WAYS.

tripreport-054Our arcade console was sick 😦

When we got to the front of the line, I pretty much gave the character handlers my Photopass, regular camera and iphone and told them to go to town.  I have never been so excited to meet some dude in a suit before.  But Ralph is BIG.  I was wearing my Fix-it Felix bow that day (thanks, Magical Ribbons) and Vanellope freaked out over it.  I look like a total moron in all my photos, but the five year old in me just came out.  It was the best.  Best, best, best.

At this point, we had some time to kill, but not too much time, before our lunch reservation at Mama Melrose.  Fantasmic dinner package all the way.  So, we meandered over to the general area, immediately got lost, and had to turn around and find it again.  We may or may not have gone on Star Tours…we went on it eventually, but I can’t remember if it was before or after lunch.  Anyway, I LOVED that ride, and I have never seen any Star Wars movie.  It just felt very immersive to me.  Mama Melrose was pretty good, especially because it was free, free, free!  It was pretty much like an Olive Garden with better theming, and with the Fantasmic package here, you get an appetizer.  I was all about my tomatoes with mozzarella and balsamic vinegar.  I’m pretty sure I ate that more times than I could count on this vacation.  Be warned, the desserts sucked.  Thankfully, I had steak, so I wasn’t very hungry for them once they came…I even tried panna cotta, and I do not put anything with that weird jello texture in my mouth.  Disgusting.

Once we were done with lunch, it was time to work off some of those calories, so we…went in an air-conditioned theater and watched Muppet Vision, HA.  I loved it.  I won’t lie, I dig the muppets.  But the best part was that my favorite muppet of all time was prominently featured: Bean Bunny!  If you have never seen Jim Henson’s Tale of the Bunny Picnic, do yourself a favor and youtube that shit right now because it was my favorite thing of all time growing up.  I wore out a VHS tape, that’s how much I loved it.  After our trip through the gift shop, it was time to go back and hit up our Toy Story fast passes (where I lost AGAIN), and then we met up with one of my other friends who just happened to be in Disney at the same time.  Reunion!

I will leave you there for now, but I’m really trying to finish this before I leave for my next trip in 19 days.  Yes, 19 days. I’m going to try out a vlog this time, even though I hate editing with a passion, so we’ll see how this goes.

More Hollywood Studios fun to come!

Disney World Trip Report Day 2 Part 3 – Where it Wouldn’t be a Halloween Party Without Some Wardrobe Malfunctions

Last I left you, I had just gotten the shit scared out of me before the Halloween Party even started.  One quick bathroom break later to dry my tears of shame, and it was time to get in line for a character meet and greet.  It was 5pm.  The party didn’t officially start until 7pm.  Who the hell spends two hours of Disney time in a line?  This girl, apparently.  We wanted to meet Jack Skellington and Sally, and by the time we walked over to the line at 5, it had already started and grown to the point where they started making rope barricades by putting masking tape on the sidewalk.  I’m not kidding.  So, I jumped in line while Julie went to go change into her Tinkerbell costume.  And when she got back to the line, wardrobe malfunction to the millionth degree.  It was like the zipper popped open and broke to the point where it was unfix-able without a sewing machine.  I felt so terrible!  We found a way to camouflage by putting my backpack on while she went to go find a plan B, and after awhile, came back with a white tank top, a really cute scarf and a tiny top hat.  I wanted this hat.  Like, SO badly.  My love for tiny hats knows no bounds.  And she had snagged the last one.  I’ll forgive her, though, because, you know, wardrobe malfunction.  😉  Anyway, we spent our time in line wisely, doing makeup touch ups and drinking Diet Coke, and before we knew it, the party had started and the dynamic duo had arrived!  I don’t know what it is about taking pictures with people in costumes that makes me act like a four year old, but I don’t really care.  I mean, I get into character and get excited when I take pictures in my Halloween costumes, so to work for Disney and get paid to do it?  Awesome.

Jack and Sally spent a lot of time with each group, which is why the line takes so long.  Seriously, everyone was up there for five minutes or more apiece.  Plus, every once in awhile, Jack would stop whatever he was doing and go scare the crap out of someone in the line who wasn’t paying attention.  It was FANTASTIC.  And they were perfect.  I never was a huge Sally fan, but this Sally was amazing.  While Jack doted on Julie and her tiny, tiny hat, Sally and I were talking about the stitches we had on our faces, and how mine obviously weren’t done very well because I had opened my mouth to talk, and she said she would give me sewing lessons.  It was awesome.  Then we took about 20 photopass pictures, and good thing we did because the ones on Julie’s phone that we wanted to post on facebook immediately were all blurry.  Man, Disney photographers, you can use these big, fancy cameras, but you can’t use a phone?  Bogus.  The interaction was GREAT, and it was definitely worth all that time in line.

Jack and Sally, you are the best.

After our meet and greet, we had a second goal in mind: time to meet Flynn Rider!  The princes only come out at special times, and we knew that the party was one of them and Rapunzel’s boyfriend would have a ridiculous line, so we hauled ass over to Fairy Tale Hall (like that pun?  I did it just for you.) and got in it.  Actually, it wasn’t too bad, I think between a half hour and 45 minutes?  We amused ourselves by taking a lot of selfies and pictures of all the portraits and stuff inside.

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Poorly lit glass slipper.

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Woman of the hour.

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Why does Mulan only meet in Epcot when she’s the best princess???

Once again, the wait wasn’t too bad, and we found the most adorable guy dressed up as Christopher Robin, complete with the blue balloon.  Ugh, I wanted to marry him.  Rapunzel and Flynn met with Snow White and her Prince, and they were pretty much devoid of personality, other than they were both afraid of my plastic sword.  Seriously?  He’s a prince.  Doesn’t he have a sword?  In fact, I think I asked him if he had one, and he didn’t.  How is he supposed to spite evil?  Give him a goddamned sword.  But Rapunzel and Flynn…oh man, they were PERFECT.  Julie had her birthday button on, and Rapunzel started screaming about it, and they were so adorable and took their time with everybody.  Also, I scared the shit out of them with my sword and the skeleton hand holding the feather in my hair.  Rapunzel was like, “shouldn’t you put some flowers in there or something?”  And I asked if Flynn had a sword, and he goes, “no…but I have a satchel!”  I was dying.  It was great.  And I’d gladly stand in that horrific line again.

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I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.

tripreport-025And she is adorable.  Best Rapunzel ever.

After that, we really didn’t have a plan so we started wandering.  We found the hitchhiking ghost photopass spot, so we took a couple of those, and then when we tried to take some pictures over at Pirates of the Caribbean, the photopass photographer yelled at me and said I couldn’t have my sword in my photos.  I was like…I just took about 60 of them, and Disney GAVE this to me, so what the fuck are you talking about?  I was really pissed off.  Like, I am paying you a bunch of money to take my picture, do what I say.  She said something about like, this is Disney you can’t pretend to be fighting with your weapon, and I just looked at her like…drop dead.  She wouldn’t even take one on MY camera.  I wanted a photo because there was a skull in the background, so I put it away and seethed on the inside, but if Disney didn’t want weapons in photos, why do they give them to you at Pirates League?  Stupid.

Whatever, then we hopped in the line to see Jack Sparrow because it was clearly very important to me to take pictures with whatever Disney boys that I could.  Also, you know, I was dressed like a pirate.  I asked if I could join his crew, and he pretty much told me to fuck off.  Come to find out, he doesn’t like zombies, and I was dressed like a zombie pirate, so there was that.  What did I know?  I’ve never seen any of the movies.  Once again, do not judge me.  He didn’t say anything about my sword, though.  Shove off, Disney.  I love Jack Sparrow.

tripreport-027I told you, I can’t make this shit up.

While we were over in Adventureland, it became very important in that moment to go meet Tarzan, because, once again, Disney boy.  Loin-cloth wearing Disney boy.  We knew we wanted to skip the first parade and go to the second one, but we weren’t paying attention to the time, and all of a sudden, we heard these giant explosions while we were in line.  Fuck, we were missing the fireworks!  I mean, we had party tickets for another night, so we knew we’d see them again, and we just stayed in line.  Thank god we did.  Tarzan was HILARIOUS.  Firstly, did you know he wears a shirt?  HE WEARS A SHIRT.  And his muscle lines are drawn on it.  After I got over the fact that he was wearing more than a loin cloth, he comes up to me and goes, “ARRRR!  PIRATE!”  So I growled back at him.  And then it became a growling contest, where we were both on our toes trying to be taller than the other one, and even though I was taller than he was, after about a minute, I gave up and said, you win.  And you know what that fucker says?  “Tarzan always win.”  I would have married him right there if I could.  This didn’t have a photopass photographer, so we had to take them on my camera, and I had forgotten to put the flash back on, but it’s okay.

tripreport-028He won the game.

Oh, yeah, and there was a gorilla.  And Jane.  Who I cropped out.  Oh well.

tripreport-029Fireworks photo without the fireworks setting on my camera.

tripreport-030Fireworks photo with the fireworks setting on my camera.  Why even bother?

After our Disney boy marathon, we decided to go back towards Main Street, where people had already started finding spots for the second parade.  Seriously?  Seriously??  Well, never one to not cave to peer pressure, we found ourselves a nice spot right on the curb and chilled out there like we were four years old.  I screwed around with my camera trying to get the highest video quality so I could tape this parade, and I thought I had put it on youtube, but I guess not, as it’s not there.  Don’t worry, it’s converting now, but it’s a giant file, so it might take forever.  Hell, it might not even upload, as that’s my luck lately.  The headless horseman was so cool.  I know it’s probably just some guy looking out of a hole in his shirt, but it was probably the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in front of my face.  And the parade was just awesome.  I haven’t seen any other Disney parades besides the one that we saw out the window of our restaurant later on in our trip, but this one had the best music, the coolest floats, character interaction…it was phenomenal.  Plus, there were skulls everywhere.  I love Halloween.  Christopher Robin must have been haunting us during the whole party because in the parade, he came up to me and goes, “Are you a pirate?  I’m a pirate, too!”  I fucking LOST it.  You can sort of see it in the video, but I was just like, what the hell just happened to me?  Clearly, we repeated it about 1600 times while we were in Disney World.

Once the parade was finished, I was about done.  We hadn’t really eaten anything since that Diet Coke hours and hours ago, but I had to meet Cruella de Vil.  HAD TO.  She is my favorite classic Disney character of all time, and I had to get a picture with her.  Unfortunately, she only meets for about ten minutes after the Villains Mix & Mingle, so we pushed onwards towards the castle, asked a CM where her line would start and got in the very front of it before we watched the show.  I love Disney villains, so this was pretty much like heaven on earth for me, to watch them all get together and dance around.  That I did remember to put on youtube, and you can watch it here:

And I sure as hell met Cruella afterwards, and I said she looked fabulous, and she said I was fabulous, so we are now besties for life.

tripreport-031Best ever.

And then…it was  time to head out.  There was about a half hour left to go before the park closed, but we had been there for 15.5 hours, and that was just enough.  We did stop in the Main Street Confectionary to buy cupcakes, though, which would have been our dinner, but by the time we got back to the hotel, I was so exhausted, I didn’t even eat it.  That poor, wonderful ghost cupcake never did get eaten.  Poor ghostie.  And that was the end of Day 2.  WHAT A DAY.  I’ll leave you with a few random pictures of the Halloween lights.  Next time, Hollywood Studios, where I meet the love of my life, and begin a trip-long obsession with yanking on a string.

Disney World Trip Report Day 2 Part 2 – Where Glitterbots Scares Little Children

Last I left you, Julie and I had just visited Gaston and I was choking down the disgusting-ness that is LeFou’s Brew whilst touring New Fantasyland.  That drink is terrible.  Seriously.  I’ve tasted straight liquor that was better than that.  This was the point in the day where we met about a million characters in quick succession because nobody had a line.  We started off with Ariel in her grotto, where I had to chug about a quarter of the brew once we got to go visit a mermaid.  Ariel was pretty fantastic, even though I don’t remember what we talked about, except she did record a video on my iphone for my niece’s second birthday because Ariel is her favorite.  God, it was cute.  Then we took a trip into Storybook Circus to go do the Daisy/Minnie and Donald/Goofy circuit.  Donald was not that great.  Goofy was the shit.  He was blowing up my fist bumps.  I took some extremely awkward photographs with the girls because I’m about a foot taller than them.  That, and I can’t pose girly to save my life.  Princess, yes.  Girly, no.  Yes, there is a difference.  We trekked through the gift shop (where Julie began her obsession with the blue slushies…I think.  Correct me if I’m wrong), and then it was about time to go to my Pirates League appointment.  Hey, it was a Halloween Party night.  I was dressing as a pirate.  Don’t judge me.  Of course, I checked in, picked my makeup, and then proceeded to trip the fuck over the little gate rope barricades, prompting some pirate snark I can’t really remember.  Arrg.

It was at this point I thought it would be the bright idea to change into my costume, so cue me trying to get out of my clothes and into a corset type pirate dress and thigh high boots in the Tortuga Tavern bathroom.  What a fucking mess.  I mean, I have concert changed at rest stops, but I think this was a whole new low.  Disney World really needs some dressing rooms for those of us who feel the need to costume change throughout the day.  Something with makeup counters and personal dressers who can zip up my goddamned boots.  Also, let me tell you, I wore some cropped leggings underneath my costume, and that was probably the best decision I have ever made, as my skirt proceeded to flip up the entire rest of the night.  And it was 1pm.  Anyway, so I went to do Pirates League.  I highly recommend this experience because it’s the only fun thing you can do as an adult that involves a costume.  I got my own pirate name, a treasure chest full of swag, AND A FUCKING SWORD.  I was gonna pack one, but I did not want funny looks from TSA agents, so I was really happy that I got a sword with my makeover.  Spoiler: no one else likes the sword.  I’ll elaborate later.  I chose the Halloween exclusive Zombie Pirate makeover, and the girl who did my makeup even let me customize it to my liking, which was really great.  I had the skeleton face with red lipstick, and it was pretty baller.  Here’s a picture of the ceiling:

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After my makeup was finished, I got to take my own mini-photo shoot in this “secret” room, and ugh, it was great.  Pirate face-a-palooza.  Since I had Photopass +, I got print outs of my shots, and got all of them added to my card.  Seriously, if you can swing a Pirates League makeover, do it.  It was probably one of the most fun things that happened in Disney.

So, now I’m walking around the park dressed up like a pirate with a skeleton face (oh, and with a feather with a skeleton HAND attached in my hair, I rule) owning the universe, and because it’s a little too early for the people in costume to be out, I’m getting a loooot of funny looks along with the compliments.  Whatever, clearly everyone is just jealous of my awesomeness, right?  Well, Julie had to change into her costume, too, so we headed back up to the front of the park to throw everything into our locker.  On our way, we’d passed by meeting Mickey Mouse about thirteen times (did I fail to mention that we’d been criss crossing throughout the day on the train to drop stuff off sporadically?  Whoops.), so we thought we’d go check him out.  Now, I heard Talking Mickey might be out for the party, but I really wasn’t expecting to find him before it.  Oh, no.  He was out.  I fucking hate puppets.  And things that talk that aren’t supposed to, like dolls, stuffed animals, MICKEY MOUSE.  And the family before us got Talking Mickey, and then they changed him out, so I was like, “YES, OUR MICKEY WILL BE MUTE.”  Oh, hell, no.  That bitch blinked and spoke and moved his mouth and the photopass photographer caught me jumping backwards from him and freaking the fuck out.  I am a grown ass woman, I should not be terrified of Talking Mickey, BUT I WAS.  It didn’t help that Talking Mickey seemed to know what I was wearing, had an entire conversation with us about pirates and then made us do our best “pirate pose.”  I wanted to die.

tripreport-018Fuck you, Talking Mickey, fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

As for the title of this post, karma came and bit me in the ass.  While we were in line for Talking Mickey, we were in front of this little girl who kept staring at me and cowering behind her mom.  Muahaha.  Scaring little children for the win.  Yeah…muahahaha alright, terrified because of a talking mouse for the LOSE.  This week’s lesson: karma is a bitch.

On that note, let’s pause, and next time we’ll get into the Halloween Party which involves standing in a line for two hours to meet the greatest character in all of Disney, tiny top hats, and a showdown with Tarzan.

Disney World Trip Report Day #2 (Part 1) – Where Princesses Are All Up on the Book of Faces

Our first “real” Disney day was a Tuesday, and what a Tuesday it was.  Back to the Magic Kingdom for the first time in 15+ years…I was probably going to cry a lot.  And I did.  It started on the bus.  Yeah…that girl.  And it wasn’t just from waking up at ass o’clock in the morning to get to our 8:15 Cinderella’s Royal Table reservation, either.  That was a rough one.  I’m pretty sure it was still dark outside when we rolled out of Pop Century…which I didn’t take any pictures of.  Oh well.  It had a lot of giant props and served its purpose as a place to sleep.

Julie and I had a tear-filled bus ride over to Magic Kingdom (I think the toddlers were looking at me funny, but sit down, kiddies, I paid for this shit, I can cry if I want to), and when we got there, we found our Magic Bands were in working order.  Thank god the only snafu we had was at the Magical Express.  Once we were inside the park, we started taking pictures of ourselves, which would pretty much be the theme of the entire vacation.  Hellooooo 800 Photopass pictures.  We hadn’t gotten to pick up our plus card yet, so a nice cast member took about ten photos of us with both our cameras and his camera in front of the train station.  We got those added to our Magic Bands, and off we went to experience the park pre-opening…where we took another 40 pictures.  We made it our mission to stop every time we saw a Photopass photographer.  I do not regret this decision.

I think we were slightly late when we went to check in for our breakfast, but it didn’t matter, as we had to wait in a line anyway to take our picture with Cinderella.  It was here that I learned the importance of the “princess pose” and that we would have to do variations of it each time we took shots with a girl in a dress.  Good thing I learned this four seconds into the trip.  While we waited to go upstairs for breakfast, I decided it would be a fantastic idea to take pictures of random castle things, a skill which I have perfected thanks to years of training at Ren Faires and Medieval Times.

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We finally took our picture with the woman of the hour, and then we were escorted upstairs where I proceeded to take pictures of the ceiling.

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It’s really pretty inside the castle, but let me tell you, the food is subpar.  I don’t eat eggs, and Disney is like…egg-a-palooza at breakfast, so there was pretty much nothing to eat that didn’t have eggs somewhere.  I ended up getting the steak (and eggs), and, while it was okay, it certainly wasn’t worth the $60 per person price, as this was the one meal we paid out of pocket.  However, the staff was great.  Our server was so nice, seeing as we were two adults having breakfast with a bunch of princesses, she didn’t think we were ridiculous or anything.  In fact, she saw my first visit button and gave me an autograph book because it was the first day of our trip and I didn’t have one.  She even tracked down Snow White (who had come to our table first when I didn’t have the book) to get her to sign it.  SO nice.  I love Disney cast members.  We had one of the best character interactions here right off the bat with Princess Aurora.  I think she gets the shaft a lot, honestly.  Maleficent clearly steals the show in Sleeping Beauty, and I can’t remember anything about Aurora in the movie that really makes her stand out.  But this girl was a riot.  I think she talked to us for at least five minutes about princes and how far we traveled on horseback, and then when we were taking pictures, she asked, “Are you going to post these on the book of faces?”  I about LOST it, I was laughing so hard.  Then we had a conversation about this magical, magical book.  Every other Princess Aurora paled in comparison to this one.

tripreport-014Book of Faces Aurora, we love you.

It took about an hour to get through breakfast, and once we were done, the park was already open to the public.  We had a Space Mountain fast pass + to use before 10am (mistake, do not book your fast pass pluses until afternoon, as there is NOBODY there in the morning), but we decided to screw around for a bit first.  We headed off to Tomorrow Land, though, and my very first Disney World ride became…Buzz Lightyear.  I’m a big fan of rides that are games, and we rode it twice in a row with no wait, stopping to get our photo numbers each time so we could add them to the plus card.  Thankfully, Julie knew where the camera was.  We’re so pimp like that.  After our trip into space, we decided to cash in our fast passes, but I believe we found a random Stitch out meeting people first.  There was barely a line, and let me tell you, Stitch is TINY and NUTS.  I was practically sitting on the ground to take a picture with him, and he stuck his fingers in our ears, it was just ridiculous…ridiculously awesome.

My first ride on Space Mountain was…well.  I was terrified.  I have no idea why, as the ride isn’t really that scary, but by the time I got off, I felt like I needed a cigarette.  It didn’t help that my shoe got stuck in the damned car, so I was praying my leg didn’t separate from my body as I tried to get the hell out of there.  We picked up our photos, and then I needed like…a break.  I know, it was 10am, and I was practically dead.  So, we made our way to pick up our Photopass+ card, and headed towards (New) Fantasyland where I teared up at pretty much everything.  I believe we went on Winnie the Pooh (which was the longest ten minute wait of my life because that ride smells like children…I have no other way to describe it), and the Teacups, where I missed my first opportunity to eat that cupcake that comes in a cup that’s mostly frosting.  Spoiler: I talked about it the entire trip, and then I never got one.  I still mourn the loss of my cupcake cup.  Eventually, we made our way over to use our Enchanted Tales with Belle fast pass pluses, and I was pretty upset that we missed half the cottage, which was a huge selling point for me.  Seriously, when I was a kid and at Disney, the thing I remember the most was walking through Mickey Mouse’s house and looking at all the little details, and now that we couldn’t walk through Belle’s I was like…the hell?  However, getting into the experience with no wait was pretty fantastic, and Maurice’s work room…holy crap, the magic.  If I didn’t have a goal in mind, I would have cried through the whole thing.  But, being the attention whore I am, I had to get in the show.  Let’s be real, it took all of three seconds for the cast member to pick me to be the wardrobe.  YES.  My music degree had finally paid off.

tripreport-015She told me I sang better than the real wardrobe.  Damn straight.

The experience was adorable, although more for little kids and their parents than adults.  Julie got to play Fifi the feather duster, aka Lumiere’s Girlfriend.  Ooh la la.  We all got our pictures with Belle and then special photopass cards and a bookmark.  Treasured.  Then we tried to ride the Little Mermaid and got denied, as it was down.  I guess that was okay, because I spied my boyfriend off in the distance, and had to get close to him.  Oh yeah.  You know who I’m talking about, don’t you?  You should if you have read any of my Dumb Things Boys Do at the Bar posts.

tripreport-016Oh yeah.  You know how I like ’em cocky.

Gaston, despite his shoulder pads, was GREAT.  He was spot the fuck on, drawn eyebrows and all.  I mean, we threw semi-dirty pickup lines at him like it was nothing and he shot back immediately.  I wish our date could have lasted a little longer, but, I mean, he’s a popular man.  I had to have a threeway with him and Julie and there were throngs of women all around him just waiting to have a go.  We’d meet up again later, though, don’t worry, and I got to sit in his giant chair when I had withdrawals, so it was all good.  Sidenote: Lefou’s Brew…not all that great.  I’m glad I got my souvenir plastic fake beer stein, but I definitely don’t have to drink that crap again, though it got better the more you drank it.  Maybe it was real beer after all.  Hmm…

And I will leave it here for now.  Don’t be sad, more New Fantasyland adventures await, along with a Pirates League makeover and that time karma hit me in the face for scaring little children when something else scared the living crap out of me.  Buahahaha.

Disney World Trip Report Day #1 – Where We Learn That Being Awesome Means You Get Awesome Things

I guess it’s about time that I talk about Disney World, seeing as it’s been two months since I’ve gone, and if I wait any longer, I’ll probably forget things.  Let’s be real, I’ve already forgotten things, but I’ll blame that on the Backstreet Cruise, which my friend and I partook in directly before heading off to the happiest place on earth.  We started out on a Monday, where I had to get up ridiculously early, was crankier than any human being should be, and had the most massive hangover to end all hangovers.  I’d talk about the cruise before hand, but I’m a big fan of “what happens on the Backstreet Cruise stays on the Backstreet Cruise.”  So, let’s just say I had gotten very little sleep for three days, had to go on a beach (I hate beaches just as much as I hate giant robots, aka A LOT), and pretty much lived inside a constant party, even though we slept in the literal dungeon of the boat in a room the size of a shoebox with no window.  The cruise cost more than my entire Disney vacation, and we were at the bottom of the barrel.  Here are a couple of pictures if you’re so inclined.  (Note: I know this is going to be impossible, but I’m going to attempt to do this whole series without posting any pictures with me in them.  Considering we took almost 800 Photopass pictures, this is going to be a feat.  But whatever.)

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That’s the elevator decorations on the boat.  I know, right?

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Sail away party.  The captains suits did us in.

trip-003Bachelorette night.  Enough said.

Debarkation day was right after bachelorette night.  Needless to say, when I woke up that morning, you would know why I would not want to get off that boat.  But my friend and I trudged along, took showers, got as presentable as we could manage and had to leave our cabin stupid early…where we proceeded to have to wait around to be almost some of the last people off the ship.  We said goodbye to our other friends, picked up pictures, reveled in the fact that we could get on facebook again…but, really, we were just worried that we were going to miss our flight to the most magical place on earth.  Luckily, customs didn’t take forever, and the cab line wasn’t super bad, so we made it to the airport with time to spare.  Unfortunately, lines there were outrageous, and I may or may not have had words with a TSA agent because she made me throw out my dry shampoo from my carry-on (I will stick by this: IT IS POWDER AND NOT A LIQUID I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE IT, NO MATTER HOW BIG THE CONTAINER WAS), but eventually, we made it to our gate.  And then the magic started to happen as we were upgraded to an EXIT ROW.  Actually, we were the first row of seats right by the airplane door, which meant there was no seat in front of me, which meant I could practically lie on the floor of the airplane.  After my most hideous flight ever to get down to Miami, I was so happy to be able to put my damned legs out.  (I’m 5’9.  Airplanes are torture.)  I told the flight attendants I was going to pass out, and I indulged in the best 45 minute hangover nap of my life through the whole plane ride.  I never again want to fly in a row that’s not an exit row.  Best flight ever.

And then….we were in ORLANDO.  The magic continued as we jumped on the fake monorail, and then proceeded to get lost on the way to the Magical Express, but, whatever, we were there, and I just wanted to check in, get in my bed, and power nap before our dinner reservation.  Unfortunately, when we made it over to the certified Disney buses, my magicband was having problems; it thought I was my friend, so she basically had double everything and I had nothing.  The guy checking us in was from my city, and I was like….dude.  Get me on a bus.  I just want to get on a bus.  Please fix my band so I can get on the goddamned bus, and hope to hell all my fastpass + reservations which we had slaved over were still intact.  For all our troubles, we got…stickers.  I believe mine was Cinderella.  I plastered it right on my obnoxiously yellow Backstreet Cruise shirt.  After about 20 minutes of rebooking EVERYTHING, they put us on a bus.  Actually, we were the first people on said bus, so we got to sit in the front seat.  Winning.  Also, we had a bad ass bus driver named Dave who seemed pretty amused that I laughed at all his corny bus driver jokes and that I bawled through the bus video.  Yeah, I’m that girl.

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In no time at all, we saw the best road sign in the universe, and after one quick stop, we pulled into our home for the next week: Pop Century Resort.  Now, please keep in mind, I hadn’t been to Disney World since I was six years old, and I have never stayed on property, so this was a big deal for me.  So deal with it, I was crying again.  I tipped Dave the Awesome Bus Driver even though we didn’t have any bags in exchange for his silence about my tears of joy, and we made our way to online check in.  It was at this point where we got stopped by an awesome cast member who saw our cruise gear and was like, “DID YOU JUST GET OFF THE BOAT? OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM!” so, basically, she was the most awesome cast member EVER.  While my friend and I regaled her with shipboard tales, we tried to check in at the same time, where we made friends with yet another most awesome cast member ever who laughed at us because we were like, “Ugh, we were trapped in the dungeon of this boat for three days, and all I want to do is sleep in a bed for twenty minutes and get something to eat because I haven’t had food other than 2am pizza and ship lemonade but OH MY GOD BACKSTREET BOYS OH MY GOD DISNEY WORLD IT WAS TOTALLY WORTH IT.”  Yup.  Those girls.  This was all happening and awesome cast member checking us in was like, “Wait, none of your requests got honored, we’re not booked, I don’t know why they would put you all the way out practically in Art of Animation,” (Note: we had only made one request, to be close to the bus stop) and he changed our building and room so all we had to do was walk down one flight of stairs and cut through the parking lot to get to the bus stop.  PIXIE DUST!  He also magically procured us birthday and first visit buttons without us even asking him to (hey, when you’re six, it doesn’t count), and explained how the dining plan worked, where we needed to go, etc.  I love hotel cast members.  They are the greatest.

After our check in, instead of making our way to our fabulous beds which we were intently craving, we made the mistake of walking through the gift shop first, where I plunked down some Disney gift card cash to buy a Nightmare Before Christmas lanyard and keycard holder.  Even though it broke, it was the smartest purchase I made during the entire trip.  I never needed to pull out my wallet because my life was around my neck.  Genius.  We finally made it to our room (Building 10 in the 70s, in case you were wondering where this golden location was), and realized we didn’t really have enough time to take a nap, but we were dead starving, so we went to the food court to have pre-dinner, instead.  We had to get the new RFID mugs for the dining plan, and all they had were orange ones, but more magic happened when some cast members appeared out of nowhere with boxes filled with other colors.  Free mugs in hand, we paid out of pocket for some food (dumb idea, ALWAYS use your quick service credits on the regular dining plan because you will end up with more than you need…I think we had like three extra ones apiece), and practically laid down in a booth to eat it, sucking down free Diet Coke like there was no tomorrow because our dining plan was FREE FREE FREE!  My friend was like a boss with her food pictures, but I don’t think I took any.  I had some chicken parmesean, if you were wondering, and it was amazing because there was like…no sauce on it.  I’m not a big fan.  Anyway, on our way back to the room after our much needed pre-dinner, we ran into the guy who had our luggage.  Yay!  So I could change my black bra into something that didn’t show through my tshirt before we left to go meet one of my other friends for dinner.

After putting on some eyeliner and mourning the power nap I didn’t get to take, I grabbed some gift cards, and we headed out to catch a bus for Downtown Disney.  Our dinner that night was at T-Rex because I love dinosaurs.  No…I really love dinosaurs.  Like, I have even written songs about them, for college credit.  I know, I’m just that awesome.  We practically ran to make our reservation, and we met my other friend who lives in Florida who I hadn’t seen in like…five years or something.  This became the trip of meeting up with people who I hadn’t seen in x amount of years.  I swear, I think we found new people every day.  Anyway, so we checked in for our reservation, and I mentioned to please not seat us in the room with the fish tank, that we’d be willing to wait longer if that was all they had available (because I like fish just as much as I like giant robots, read: NOT AT ALL), and, of course, when they went to take us back, the guy was like…oh wait, they put you in the room with the giant fish tank.  HOLD UP.  So, he went back and got us another table that was right by this guy:

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Whom I immediately proclaimed my boyfriend.  He squawked a lot, but his table manners were impeccable, compared to most of the guys I’ve dated.  T-Rex is awesome if you like dinosaurs (obviously) and loud noises (not so obviously).  Where we were seated, there was a meteor shower every fifteen minutes.  It was so cool.  Along with being “that girl,” I am also five years old.  Since we had pre-dinner, I wasn’t very hungry, but I did manage to eat about half of the gigantic fried shrimp dinner that I ordered and this dessert that was like…ice cream upon ice cream upon ice cream.  God, I love the dining plan.

When we were done eating, I proceeded to walk around the entire restaurant taking pictures of dinosaurs.  You’re welcome.

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That’s my other boyfriend.  Be really jealous.

Then, we went in the gift shop, where I really wanted to buy one of those Build-a-Bear dinos…for myself.  I was talked out of this purchase with a promise we’d be back later (sidenote: we never came back), and went out to do some more shopping where we took awesome pictures of ourselves wearing funny hats and Minnie ears (which will not be seen in this trip report), began my ridiculous obsession with this Alice in Wonderland teapot I waffled the whole trip about purchasing, spent way too much money at Basin (hello, obsession with bath bombs, let’s talk about it), and tried to find a Very Bradley for my friend that nobody had.  I also bought a really cute Belle shirt in Tren-D which I was sure would not fit, but, shockingly, it did, and we didn’t even make a dent in all the stores.  Cramming Downtown Disney into a couple of hours was definitely not the smartest thing I had ever planned to do, plus, I wanted to spend time with my local friend and there were just not enough hours in the day.  She very nicely agreed to drive us back to our hotel (and to a CVS where I had to re-purchase my dry shampoo because of the bitchy TSA agent), and we said our goodbyes because we had to be up at ass o’clock in the morning on Tuesday for our first park day.  Can you say, “pre-opening ADR?”  I can!

And I finally met my bed.  And it was GLORIOUS.

To be continued…obviously.

What’s your favorite store in Downtown Disney?  Restaurant?  I am making a point to spend more time there next trip…which I have already started planning for 2014.  Still that girl, people, still that girl.